119 Ways to Annoy Legolas

119 Ways to Annoy Legolas

1.) Ask if he wears sloshing;
2.) And if his hair's collour is actually white-blonde;
3.) And if it is, ask why his eyebrows are darker than his hair;
4.) Tell everybody he wears contact lens;
5.) Call him Leggy;
6.) Or Legsie;
7.) Or Lil'Leggy;
8.) Spread he is Orlando Bloom in disguise;
9.) Attack him with a wild kiss when he's distracted;
10.) Ask Aragorn to play with Legolas dressed as a pirate;
11.) Tell him the theory about flying hobbits has inspired Santos Drummont to create his first airplane;
12.) Call him "Leagues";
13.) Say that he's really look like Lestat de Lioncourt and ask if he's not his brother;
14.) Ask if he used to take a bath when they were at the battle;
15.) Ask if he drives something else besides a horse;
16.) Say out loud in front of him that elves don't really exist;
17.) Braid ALL his hair when he's sleeping;
18.) When he's speaking in Elvish, say that you can't understand his French because of his bad accent;
19.) Interrupt him everytime;
20.) Ask a thousand times which shampoo he uses;
21.) Try to mess his hair;
22.) Say that elves have not been important in the battle;
23.) Say that Tolkien was a great fiction writer;
24.) When he's very quiet, shout "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARRING AT, YOUR PERVERT?!";
25.) Ask why is his skin so pale;
26.) But at least sixty times by day;
27.) Ask if he didn't get his arse baked riding a horse;
28.) Spread he used to prostitute himself in Lothlorien and that was the real reason to get those nice gifts from Galadriel;
29.) Spread also that he and Gimli had an affair;
30.) Ask why is he so prejudiced with short people;
31.) Ask how tall is he, seventeen times;
32.) Ask if he has invented grass;
33.) And ask if was that what was inside of the lembas;
34.) Tell him you want to learn Elvish with him;
35.) And speak everything wrong propositally;
36.) Imitate him, casting imaginary arrows inside the house;
37.) And then, put the bow in your back and start to fight with two imaginary swords;
38 Ask him to play shot-to-target;
39.) And when you lose, say that you let him win this time;
40.) Ask how old is he everyday;
41.) Ask if he can't wear another kind of clothes;
42.) Say to him you want to see his Evish Buttock;
43.) When he gets home, be on the table dressed with a red dress dancing cancan;
44.) Sing Lady Marmelade wearing only your BLACK underwear;
45.) Ask if it's true that he and Erond had an affair;
46.) Inquire about his sexuality;
47.) Beg him to get bold and make a red mohaw;
48.) Subscribe him as volunteer as Physical Education in a primary school;
49.) Give an Gimli's puppet for him;
50.) And say "I know you love him. Use it as you think it's better";
51.) Ask him to cook ice;
52.) And criticize he could do it more "squared";
53.) Take him to a baile funk (don't want to know this Brazilian shit *blushes*);
54.) Paint his hair black;
55.) And in the morning ask "have you become a gothic this night?";
56.) Create a homo family at The Sims, which one he's married with Aragorn;
57.) Tell Aragorn that Legolas had an affair with Arwen before they get married;
58.) Give Legos to him and write a note "Legos for Legolas ";
59.) Tell an idiot and non-sense gag for him and laught by hours;
60.) When he get out of the PC, access a pornographic site and start to yell with him "IS THIS WHAT YOU SEARCH AT INTERNET?!";
61.) Ask him to date;
62.) Ask for Lestat stand guard in front of his bedroom all night long;
63.) Beg Legolas let Lestat transformate him;
64.) And if he say no, make a point to he get you with Lestat. In his bed;
65.) Ask surprised "how did you scaped from these scientists trying to dissect you?";
66.) Impicate with his pointed ears;
67.) Ask if he's this kind of elves who lives under leaves and rafts;
68.) Ask if his ears are really sensible;
69.) And then bit them :3 ;
70.) Suddenly shout "I know what you and Faramir did last night!";
71.) At Halloween, dress yourself as an Orc and make a sensually dance;
72.) Ask if he's vegetarian;
73.) Gossip to everybody he's onder than seems;
74.) Invite him to be a model;
75.) When he's totally concentrated, scream VERY loudly in his ear;
76.) Ask him to "bottle the glory";
77.) Or perhaps "cooking the fame";
78.) Ask often the collour of his underwear;
79.) Follow him in the house, covering your face with your hands;
80.) And when he looks at you, show your face, smile and say "you got me!";
81.) Hold his hood as it is a bridail veil;
82.) And when he turns a round to see you, throw it on his head;
83.) And run to the mountains!;
84.) Suddenly hug him;
85.) Say "hi" to him everytime you meet him at the corridor;
86.) Stopwatch his time in the bathroom;
87.) Always clap your hands after he say something;
88.) You also can say "EXCELLENT!";
89.) Give him a Teletubbies T-shirt;
90.) When he's talking to his friends - read The Chosen -, stop him and ask very angry "where were you in September 27th of 1873?";
91.) Call him LegLeg;
92.) Ask EVERYDAYS what has he dreamt last night;
93.) And when he answer, murmur puzzled "yeah, I forget elves haven't got the same kind of dream as humans";
94.) Ask if he have erotic dreams with you;
95.) Ask if he have a crush with someone younger than he;
96.) And if he have an atracction for someone younger and human;
97.) AND IF HE WOULD GO TO BED WITH A GIRL YOUNGER AND HUMAN;
98.) Ask if he believes in faires;
99.) Say that he remembers Firenze from Harry Potter;
100.) Ask every stupid question you have on mind;
101.) Spread to people that he has began all the little conflicts in the world;
102.) Ask him to teach you how to play the bow;
103.) And aim - accidentally, of course - between his legs;
104.) And offer yourself to make the dressings;
105.) Ask him to watch Shindler's List;
106.) Criticize everything he does and everything he says;
107.) Say that skate was his invention;
108.) Everytime you see somebody REALLY ugly, hide yourself behind him and whisper "Legolas, I'm afraid you forget that orc!";
109.) NEVER take him to the zoo where are elephants;
110.) When he's completly in silence, start singing Enjoy The Silence tunelessly;
111.) Take photos of him in the shower;
112.) And put it in the internet;
113.) Find his e-mail and send thousands of spams;
114.) Sing a song in French - completly wrong;
115.) Ignore him;
116.) And after ask with a tearful voice "don't you love me anymore?";
117.) Laught a lot of everything he does;
118.) Even so if he's still;
119.) And if you have done everything written here and stay alive, do it all again xD